We Don't Say Goodbye
by Liliumscribe
Summary: AU fic. A bittersweet tale of two people in love, whose choices lead to different paths, discovering that that the road to hell is paved with misunderstandings and good intentions. C & N's story is told in time fragments over a thirty year period.
1. Chapter 1

**We Don't Say Goodbye**

_AU fic. A bittersweet tale of two people in love, whose choices lead to different paths, discovering that that the road to hell is paved with misunderstandings and good intentions. Their story is told in time fragments over a thirty year period. Definitely Chiaki and Nodame. Hints of adult content in later chapters.  
_

_This is, to all intents and purposes, an experimental, non-linear piece of fiction. It was worked on, when time permitted, over a series of months but mostly in the past week. I started on it as it seemed like a good idea at the time. I think I must've had a "Memento" moment when I embarked on this project. :D  
_

_Disclaimer: The characters of Chiaki, Nodame, Stresemann and Seiko san are the invention of Tomoko Ninomiya. _

_

* * *

  
_

The funeral procession made its way slowly and purposefully into the cemetery grounds. The solemnity of the occasion, however, did not mar the pleasantness of the weather. It was fortuitous for all present, that they would be basking in the warmth of a fine summer's day, and the exposed lawns looked freshly greened from heavy showers that had swept through the area, drenching the grounds two days earlier. To mark this occasion, a neverending string of vehicles filed onto the strip of asphalt that meandered around the facility... giving proof of the immense respect that the deceased commanded even in death.

An unknown number of well-wishers had come to mourn the loss of the late Shinichi Chiaki. Undoubtedly, one of the amazing musical talents of the 21st century, he had passed on to the next life far too soon. His battle with cancer was finally over and the world would no longer watch his slim and handsome stature grace its stages, conducting some of the greatest musical ensembles ever gathered.

The graveside service was a simple affair... in accordance to the wishes of the deceased. His widow braced herself as she took a final look at the ornately decorated and lacquered wooden box as it was carefully lowered into her husband's final resting place. Their battle with the cancer had not been an easy one and though there was a part of her relieved that he was no longer suffering, she knew she would miss him. Not that she was one to complain much but Shinichi had not been easy to live with. Towards the end, however, she had sensed a newfound openness that had given her hope about their future together. Evidently, it was not to be. Nonetheless, she was no fool. She understood that great men were driven by forces that mere mortals were not privy to. She worshipped his talent and was content to be his constant companion... she understood too well her place in this great universe and that was to be the lowly, invisible wife of a great musician.

Immediately after the conclusion of the service, the crowds scattered all over the lawn in readiness to leave, courteously allowing the widow her private moment with the man she had devoted fifteen years of her life to. Eulogies aside, she had come to grieve and to say goodbye.

From afar onlookers could see that two women in particular lingered at the gravestone. One of them whispered to the light breeze that brushed past... _Senpai... At least for a brief time... we were the golden pair. _The scarf which hid her greying hair slid off her head noiselessly and onto her shoulder. Oblivious to the fact, however, she stood staring at the freshly built mound, humming Beethoven's _Pathetique _with a quiet passion.

The other bowed in deep respect before turning to the interloper with wonder. _Who is she?_

In the end it was the stranger that broke the silence when her rendition of that great piano sonata was deemed to be over. She shifted clumsily towards the widow, her demeanour and tone of voice being completely childlike.

"I'm sorry for your loss. Mrs Chiaki" She ventured demurely.

"Thank you. Miss... er..." The widow hesitated. "Have we met?"

"No... never... But I knew your husband... very well..." _Another life time ago._

The interloper tried hard to avoid the other woman's penetrating gaze. Her eyelids fluttered uneasily and her line of sight flitted around the lawn.

"We played together... on a number of occasions..." She added noticing the widow's bewildered expression.

"Really? Shinichi never mentioned..."

"He didn't?" She looked momentarily surprised and then relaxed into a knowing smile. "No, I don't suppose he did. No reason why he should" The strange creature looked thoughtful. "Anyway... I thought I should come... Just to say good bye. We never did say good bye. But then neither of us were very good at it." She whispered matter-of-factly. "Now, it doesn't seem to matter. I really thought it would help..." Her bloodshot eyes wandered to the gravestone. Tears trickled down her cheeks.

Mrs Chiaki was brimming with curiosity. A multitude of thoughts raced through her mind. Who is this woman? An obsessed fan? A stalker. Somehow she didn't seem like one. There was something about about the way she was speaking that rang true. The other woman looked as if she wanted to say more but nothing more fell out of her lips.

Both women fell into an awkward silence and it behooved the widow to fill the empty, noiseless space that came between them.

"Well, thank you for coming." The widow turned on her hostess manner. "Miss...?"

For a moment the other turned away to leave. After a moment's consideration, she turned to face the widow to say:

_I suppose it won't hurt now. _"Noda... Megumi Noda... But my friends call me Nodame."

With that, she threw on a pair of sunglasses and strolled away briskly until she was totally out of sight.

* * *

The name was vaguely familiar. Megumi Noda... Megumi Noda... Hadn't she been a critically acclaimed classical pianist at one time... won a major international piano competition? Didn't _Classical Life_ call her a tsunami, cyclone and thunderstorm rolled into one? She exploded onto the music scene one moment and then just dropped out of sight, only to emerge years later playing at clubs and hotels. Looking at the slight figure, it was hard to believe that was the same Megumi Noda. Still, there she was, larger than life... whimsical... doing her jack-in-the-box routine, barely aged except for the greying fringes. Hiromi Takada Chiaki had certainly heard about Megumi Noda through the grapevine and knew that her husband was something of a fan. But that Shinichi never once mentioned during that married life that he knew her personally was, to her mind, very peculiar even for him. She thought she knew all his acquaintances... and as for friends, they were few and far between.

The encounter left her in a daze. Her imagination took hold and took her to places she had only read about in books. Her discomfiture did not go unnoticed. At the post-service reception, a long time friend of the family and Chiaki's agent from the early days, observed her distinct lack of interest in her immediate surroundings and grew concerned. Hiromi, if nothing else, was the perfect hostess... winsome, companionable and elegant... the perfect wife for a world famous conductor. Earlier, she had been the picture of perfect composure but something had changed. Despite the circumstances, she did not appear to be wallowing in grief... just distracted and preoccupied, disinterested in her environment. Calmly, he strolled up to where she was sitting and asked as casually as he could muster.

"Is everything alright?

"Huh?"

"Hiromi... I was just asking if everything was alright..." The observing friend commented putting his hand lightly on her shoulder.

Immediately the widow was catapulted out of her dream-like state. To hide her embarrassment, she instinctively took the defensive posture. "I buried my husband today... what do you think?" She snapped evasively.

The family friend was taken aback. "Hiromi... it's not like you to speak this way. What's wrong?"

Realising her mistake, she shook her head shamefacedly. "Nothing's wrong... just tired... Just can't believe that Shinichi's gone."

"Hiromi, it's me you're talking to, remember? There's something bothering you and it's not your husband's death."

"I'm sorry... Karl... it's just..."

Clearly _something_ was bothering her.

"What is it?" He pressed gently.

"It was so odd... I don't know what to think. There was this woman... at the graveside... claiming to be Megumi Noda, the pianist."

"Really... she did, did she?" The agent's entire posture stiffened showing he had become alert.

Now it was the widow's turn to be curious. "Why... what's the matter?"

Ignoring the question Karl continued his line of questioning. "What else did she say?"

"Nothing much... she just wanted to pay her respects. Said she knew Shinichi very well. Did she?"

"Did she want anything?"

"Nothing. Just said she wanted to say goodbye and then left. Very strange."

"She was always a strange one..." _What was it that Chiaki used to call her?_

That comment encouraged the widow's turn to probe. "Did you know her?"

"A little..." was the brief response. _Not that well it would seem..._

"Did Shinichi know her?"

The agent was loath to answer. That was evident. But now that there was an opening, the widow was determined to get to the bottom of things. Even a simpleton could see that Karl had no ready answer for what appeared to be a straightforward question.

"He did, didn't he?" The widow persisted.

"Yes, he did."

"Well?"

"I suppose."

"On a personal level?"

"You could say that."

"Were they lovers?"

His lack of answer was an answer in and of itself. "Do you really want to know, Hiromi? I'm don't know if you're going to like where this is headed." He cautioned.

"Were they lovers?" Hiromi persisted with her question.

"In a sense... for a time... but it's not what you think..."

"For goodness sake, Karl... this is not the time to be beating around the bush... There's no need to protect me from the truth. I know I'm not an intelligent woman but I wasn't exactly born yesterday either."

"No I don't suppose you were." He gave her a sad smile. "It probably doesn't matter now anyway. You were bound to find out some time soon. The truth is... Megumi Noda was... for a brief time... married to Shinichi Chiaki."

* * *

To say that Hiromi Chiaki was flabbergasted by this revelation, would be an understatement. It was only some moments later that she was able to speak.

"Married? When?"

"Almost thirty years ago if memory serves."

"Why... what happened... why didn't he tell me?"

"They were very young... very talented and equally temperamental. A veritable combination of fireworks which would have destroyed them both personally and professionally. Thank heavens, she finally saw sense and left. I don't suppose he ever forgave her." There was a ring of uncertainty in his voice which she mistook for hesitation.

"You didn't like her?"

"She was very gifted... erratic definitely but brilliant. I didn't dislike her but I didn't think she was good for him, careerwise. Unstable... prone to mood swings and certainly no housekeeper. It was hard on him caring for her and trying to establish himself professionally."

"I can't imagine that she left him willingly." _Still what was she thinking?_

"No... I don't imagine she did..." Karl seemed briefly inattentive "But professionally, it worked out well for both of them. They went on to bigger and better things. Well, for Shinichi more than for her. She went off the radar after winning a major comp. I was there."

"Did she ever re-marry?"

"Don't think so... She seemed to keep her private life under wraps. But there is a son." _I wonder...  
_

"Did... Shinichi love her?"

"I suppose he must've at some point to have married her... but no one really knows with him, do they?"

"No... they don't..."

_Shinichi... To have never said a word about her all these years... she must've hurt you deeply... but why did you let her go?_

* * *

"How was it?"

"You didn't have to call, you know."

"I was worried. Didn't know how you were bearing up."

"I'll be fine." _But today I grieve for what was..._

"Sure?"

"What do you think I am? Gyabo! A spineless, helpless suckling? Who was it that brought you into this world, raised you almost single-handedly? Managed somehow to support the two of us. What's a funeral... "

"I know... but..."

"I'll be fine... you just take care of your family. I'm not such an old woman yet that I can't get through this on my own."

"I should have come with you."

"No... we've already discussed this... your wife could be having a baby anytime soon and you need to be there. The birth of your first child is not something you should miss."

"You sure you're alright?"

"Mukiya... when did you turn into such a relentless nag?"

"I learnt from the best."


	2. Chapter 2

**July 2037**

"Please don't go... Miss Noda... I beg of you. Please... I just want to talk."

It was a conversation waiting to happen. Two women, world's apart, who had worshipped the same man were finally coming together face to face. There were too many years between them for there to be any easy familiarity. One held clues to the past and the future, the other was bursting with curiosity. Talk was something that both longed for and dreaded at the same time.

Nodame hesitated. She was a bundle of nervous energy. Nonetheless, the sincerity behind the request was unmistakable and it stopped her dead in her tracks. It would be a waste of good French pastry and Brazilian coffee to leave just as things were getting interesting.

"You know, for a second there, I thought about not coming." She said matter-of-factly despite the inner turmoil.

"But you did... why?"

"Because I was curious... about you... about the woman that _senpai_ married..."

"You were married to him too..."

"For a short time... When did you find out?" Nodame looked steadily at the woman in front of her, judging her reaction to this piece of news. Observing that there was no sign of hostility, she relaxed.

"Three week ago. You're a hard woman to track down."

"I don't like staying in one place for too long. And there were family matters to consider." She drummed her fingers on the table nervously. "What do you want to talk to me about? Not about _senpai_ surely? You knew him a lot longer."

"But you knew him a lot better."

"Did I?..." Nodame paused momentarily to consider. "Perhaps... But Music was his true love. For her, he would bare his soul." She added while absent-mindedly fingering the ends of her hair.

"Why did you leave him?" The widow was keen to cut to the quick.

_I guess that's what everyone thinks._ "Not sure... for the greater good, I suppose." Nodame cackled hollowly. "In the end, it seemed as if they were right. He did become a world famous conductor. He achieved all his ambitions." _Without me..._

"They?"

"His _friends_..." She rambled on sarcastically. " _no friends of mine_... all said that he would be better off without me. That I was an encumbrance... I was hindering his chances. They didn't use those words, of course. But I understood their meaning. To think I was dumb enough to buy it."

_Didn't she leave him willingly? Didn't Karl say..._

"Better off... _muki_... _baka_." The enigmatic Miss Noda was gesticulating wildly now. "Idiots... all of them... His music withered away and lurked in the shadows... He needed _me_ as much I needed _him_."

Hiromi had heard that Megumi Noda was eccentric but no one had told her that the pianist was bordering on maddening arrogance. It was common knowledge that Shinichi was one of the most gifted conductors of his generation... everyone said so. Shinichi didn't need anyone...

Or did he? Somehow he saw something in her. Something that filled a void perhaps. Miss Noda spoke with a vehement earnestness that some how had a ring of truth, transporting Hiromi to recall many a restless night with her perfectionist husband, watching him pace up and down the bedroom. Meaningless phrases that left his angry lips now made better sense. Had he been thinking about her? Was Megumi Noda the reason why he wore that impenetrable mask whenever Hiromi tried to get closer?

Miss Noda evidently had much to say. The dams were finally bursting forth after thirty years. "Luckily for the world I saved a part of him... The good part... untouched by agents, commercial success and _friends_."

* * *

"Why didn't you tell him about the boy?"

Although she had spent many hours pondering her decision, Nodame did not answer right away.

"Shinichi didn't seem that keen on having children just yet. I panicked when I found out... and I was very insecure... He had made it clear that our careers came first so I had no idea how Shinichi would react to the news. I definitely had no intention on giving up on the child. And then when he went away three months for work, missed my graduation, it was as if all my worst nightmares had become a reality. Whatever else happened, I knew that I had to do something to protect my baby's future and protect Shinichi as well. So I ran... as far as I could. Privately though, I hoped everyday before and after the baby was born that he'd come back to me, that he'd walk through my door, tell me how much he missed me and that it had all been a pathetic misunderstanding. But he never came.

"It was childish but I was so sure he would come to his senses. That he would understand... that he would finally get it right... about what was really important..."

"But he didn't, did he?"

"I don't blame him. I gave him very little explanation. But somewhere, deep down it seemed like I had been "testing" him and he failed my test, broke my heart. I felt justified... it had been the right choice to keep the boy a secret.

"I don't know... Maybe it was also easier in the end to rationalize to myself that a family would have just held back his career..." The pianist grinned mischievously. "I can be quite good at lying... especially to myself. Why not? I was the noble Nodame."

Nodame must have noticed a twinge of sadness in Hiromi's confused expression and turned to the other woman, patting her arm reassuringly.

"Really, I don't have any regrets... I knew... the first time when Aoshi played the violin that everything was going to be alright. I hadn't lost Shinichi... not really. But I had a new purpose."

_The instinctive flourishes... the raw intensity... he got that from me... The drive, the discipline and a stickler for technique... he got that from his father._

"But you suffered..." _Bringing up the child alone... letting him think the worst of you...  
_

"Did I? Never thought about it that way. It was my choice. I wake up everyday confident that I had the better part of the deal... Someone to come home to... The truth was, I was the selfish one. The boy was mine to influence while Shinichi was off somewhere, free to become the world-reknowned conductor he became without being burdened with the knowledge that he was a father."

A frisson of profound sadness engulfed Hiromi. Many things that made no sense once upon a time, now became clear. Chiaki never stopped pining for his first wife... didn't know for a long time why she had left and when he did later... he must have thought it was too late to make amends...

Nodame fidgeted restlessly in her seat. "In a way, it was better than living in his shadow and not having people take me seriously as a musician or a parent."

"Seriously, I've had a lot of time to think about it... No use having regrets... My only regret is that I never got to tell him about Aoshi..."

As if on cue, Hiromi fumbled through the handbag and pulled out a manilla envelope

"This is what I wanted to talk to you about, Miss Noda... he left you a letter..."

Nodame became wide-eyed. "He did?"

"He also left something... to the boy... Aoshi... in his will..."

Time stood still as Nodame stared at the envelope in sheer disbelief. When she finally deigned to pick it up and brought it close to her lips, her entire person trembled violently and out of her mouth came the sound of an unearthly heart wrenching sob.

* * *

**8 December 2035**

_My dear Hiromi_

_There is something I need to tell you that I should've told you years ago. But I was too ashamed and too angry to do so at the time. And now that I am at the end of my life, I finally feel compelled to make things right._

_In short, I have son. About twelve years ago, almost by accident, I discovered his existence. His mother and I had been married for four months before she left me. For years I was bitter about her leaving and refused to speak of her but when I saw him... it was as if someone turned on the lights._

_All these years I have lacked the courage to do the right thing... to acknowledge the boy and to make peace with his mother. I have tried to help him with his career and it gratifies me somewhat that I have played a small but crucial role in his recent successes._

_I have made provision for him in my will but I have no doubt that given his talent and mammoth achievements thus far that he is destined for even greater things._

_I hope you understand and find it in you to forgive me._

_Your husband_

_Shinichi _


	3. Chapter 3

**March 2022**

"So what do you think, Chiaki?"

"Interesting." _Astounding. Where did Eric find him?_

Eric had a knack of digging up young talent from the most unusual places. As a freelance agent and something of a talent scout, Eric North had the air of a used car salesman with a string of near-misses in his history. It was customary for him to drag his "finds" unceremoniously to auditions, only to be told in no uncertain terms "not to waste anybody's time".

"Interesting? Admit it, Chiaki, I've hit the jackpot. Only thirteen and he's playing like Nigel Connolly. Didn't I tell you that I've found the next big thing?"

_Eric could finally be onto something here. This boy is exceptionally good. Idiosyncratic to be sure but masterful._ "He is... good... I'd grant you that. Unusually intense for a child his age though"

"Music's in his blood that's why,"

"Really? Who are his parents? Anybody I know?"

"Don't think so... mother's a pianist though. Odd creature that one. Hovers around the boy like a bad smell."

"Father?"

"No one knows... not in the picture. Probably one of those youthful indiscretions."

"He's Japanese, you say?"

"Uh huh... Aoshi Noda..."

"Noda?" Chiaki echoed. _No..._ _It can't be. A coincidence surely._ "Mother's a pianist, you say..."

"That's what it says on the application form."

Chiaki tried not to seem to eager to relieve his friend of the paper that was in his hand.

"Let me see it..."

"You seem particularly interested in this boy... more interested than usual. Does that mean he's got potential?"

"Oh yes... lots of potential." Chiaki tried to appear disinterested. _If his pedigree is as good as you say it is._

Eric studied Chiaki carefully as he watched his friend's eyes run through the page. "I don't why I didn't notice it before... but if it wasn't for that dreadful military haircut, the boy looks a bit like you."

"Really... Eric... the next thing you're going to say is that all Japanese people look alike..." was the timely rejoinder.

* * *

Out in the lobby, a different conversation was going on.

"Good grief, mother... stop pinching my cheeks." The adolescent virtuoso in the making had turned as red as beetroot. "You're embarrassing me."

"You look so adorable in that suit and that bow tie." His mother gushed proudly. "Ah... my baby looks all grown up." She continued prodding the boy's cheeks, cooing and gahing as if she was fussing over a clueless infant.

"Please mother... I am not a baby anymore." He retorted, waving off his mother's ministrations and dusting the sleeve of his jacket in an effort to regain some dignity. "And I don't think that these people care how I look." The boy shot his mother an indignant look before asking eagerly. "So how was it?"

"Okay... not as good as your last performance... you're slackening little one." The mother narrowed her eyes critically.

"Performing solo to a small group of judges is not the same as performing with a live orchestra." He protested.

"Stop making excuses!" His mother barked impatiently and daggers seemed to catapult out of her eyes. It was as if her personality had switched in an instant. "If you are going to be the best in the world, you have to be able to perform in front of _any_ audience, understand? Because there will always be someone else who will be only too happy to take your spot."

"But... mother..."

Unfortunately his mother was on a rampage and nothing short of a herd of wild elephants was going to hold her back.

"No buts... Aoshi... do you want this or not? It's all or nothing. Nothing less than your best. I haven't sacrificed and slaved for the last eight years just for my son to be a half-rate violinist." She spat irately.

The boy cowed. "Of course... I do... I was just a bit nervous... that's all. That famous conductor kept giving me strange looks after the second selection."

"What famous conductor?"

"I don't know his name. But Mr North said he was a very famous conductor and I should feel very privileged to be playing in front of him."

"Hmph... _baka_... what kind of ridiculous excuse is that... You should be composed even if the ghosts of Mozart, Beethoven and Bach were watching you from the front row."

* * *

_He is about the right age... She must've already been pregnant before I went to London._

_Unbelievable... That crazy woman... why didn't she tell me... about the child? Is there no end to her shenanigans? Did she really raise this boy on her own? _

_He looks normal enough... _

Chiaki slumped onto the sofa... and slammed his right fist on an inoffensive cushion.

_Damn that _hentai_... why? _

_Did she hate me that much? So much that she wouldn't even tell me that I have a son._

_She did this out of spite, I'm sure... just because I missed her graduation... _

_What was she thinking? I thought she understood... I thought she knew..._

His left hand plunged into his jacket pocket and fingered the fob watch that she gave him all those years ago. He had it repaired on two occasions and refused to allow anyone including his wife to buy him a new one. Like everyone else, she thought it was a family heirloom.

_I have a son... and he is a stranger to me... and I to him...  
_

_History has repeated itself._

_Does he know I am his father? Does he care?_

_Wonder what that idiot told him... that his father is dead? Abandoned him? _

* * *

Chiaki tried hard not to stare. Eric was right though, the boy did look like him. Standing there with the boy sent his heart was racing and for the first time since she left he felt a strange excitement running through his person.

"You played very well. You have an unusual technique." Chiaki commented, trying to retain a cool exterior.

"Thank you... sir..."

"Who is your violin teacher?"

"I don't have one at the moment... my mother can't afford one right now..." The boy looked slightly embarrassed. "But I practice a lot and she throws things at me when I make mistakes."

_She should have come to me. Angry or not, he is still my son._ "You should apply for scholarships."

"My mother doesn't think I should go to a music school yet. She thinks they'll corrupt my playing. She wants me to develop my own style first."

"She does, does she?" Chiaki allowed himself a smile. _Some things never change._

"My mother has many strange ideas, sir... and she's very strict."

_Strange is right._ "What about your father... doesn't he have a say in any of this?"

"I... don't know... I don't know my father... he doesn't live with us..."

"Are your parents divorced?" _At least she hasn't told him that I'm dead._

"I... think so... my mother doesn't talk much about him... She calls him "the useless man" when she doesn't want to talk about him."

_That hentai... still making things up... Really, the gall of the woman_... _Useless_.. _am I_ "Is he a musician too?"

"I think so... my mother says that he is too busy with his career to care about us and that I should just forget I have a father."

_Too busy to care...how could she? Does she really believe that? _"Do you think about your father?"

"Sometimes... but I don't want to upset my mother so I don't ask too many questions. After all, I'm all she has..."

"It's very mature of you to think that way." _At least he has my good sense._

"Thank you but my mother has made many sacrifices for me. We've had to move around a lot... it depends on where she gets work."

"It must be hard on you."

"No, not really... I get to go everywhere with my mother. We have a lot of fun. People think my mother is strange but she takes good care of me... in her own way... Terrible cook though."

_In her own way... yes... I'm sure she does..._ "She is an amazing pianist."

"You've heard of her?" The teenager looked up eagerly.

"Yes, I have... I even saw her play at the Chopin International Competition in 2012"

"You did?"

_You would've been about three._ "She was quite remarkable."

"I wish I had been there but I had to stay with my grandparents."

"It can't be easy juggling a career and a child." _And all this time I thought you just gave up..._

"She's a great person." The boy said with obvious pride. "Not many people know this. That's why I have to be successful for her sake as much as my own."

"Well, good luck..."

"Thank you."

* * *

"I thought you were never coming out. What in the world happened in there?"

"One of the judges wanted to talk to me after the interview"

"So how did your interview go?"

"Okay... I guess..."

"Sure?"

"Mother... does it mean if I get this job, you won't have to work in bars?"

"You're not worried about money again, are you?" His mother eyed him suspiciously.

"It's not that... I was just thinking about the kind of career that you could have..."

"I don't care about that... so don't worry..."

"One of the judges said that he saw you play at the Chopin Competition."

"He did? Who was he?" _Didn't think anybody remembered me anymore._

"I don't know... I didn't ask... some famous conductor, I think."

"It was a long time ago... and I don't think about it that much. So don't worry your adorable head about any of it and concentrate on becoming the world's greatest violinist." His mother reached over and pinched his left cheek with disturbing relish.

"Ow... don't do that mother..." The boy pleaded as he nursed the sore spot. "Violinists need their cheeks too."

"The day you become the world's greatest violinist is the day I will stop doing that."

* * *

Chiaki was at a loss... deep down he lacked the courage to confront her. Any doubts he had about the boy's identity had completely dissipated in an instant. That he had taken so long to find out was a credit to her maddening ingenuity. Despite an initial feeling of shock and rage, Chiaki was painfully aware that he was as much to blame as she was. If he had looked her up in the last several years, he would have found out about the boy. Of course he had been angry at her abrupt departure... but mulling over the ramifications gave him a different perspective. She, on the other hand, was obviously still wrathful over his missing her graduation unless... it wasn't that afterall... Unless it was about the boy...

_The boy... My son..._

The boy had talent... there was no doubt about that... and she obviously saw it too. Enough to realize what it meant. But to devote herself single-mindedly to his development as a musician... this he had not thought possible of her. Like always, he had completely underestimated her. Even so, the boy needed a teacher if he was to reach his full potential. This is where he would come in.

Didn't she trust him to take care of them? Evidently not....

_My mother says that he is too busy with his career to care about us..._

Chiaki was stupefied... after all the things he had done for her... for her to think that he didn't and wouldn't care...

_I married her, didn't I?_ _She said she was happy... talked about having children... What was the exact term she used?... a "musical dynasty"... Her dreams of having a family...  
_

_So why did she leave? _

He never did find out... at least until now... Admittedly, he hadn't tried very hard. He had thrown himself into his work and gladly let it consume his life so that he did not have to think about her and how she had broken his heart.

_But why didn't she tell me... before I left... She would've known... she was having a baby... I know I said it wasn't a good time but... it wouldn't have mattered...  
_

A baby... just as his career was taking off... How would they have coped? A young family in a new country... it would have divided his soul and tested their relationship... Nodame was hardly the poster girl for housekeeping.

She obviously wanted the baby... was happy to struggle on her own to have him. _Didn't she think I would be a good father? Why?_ _Unless..._

She had been testing him_... of course she had... especially after what I had said..._ _about not having children until we'd established our careers..._

_A test... yes... so that was it... Had I known...  
_

A test that he had failed miserably. Of course, he had been blithely unaware that he had been on trial but it didn't matter. What mattered was that she had believed him incapable of thinking beyond his desire to establish his career in those early days and he'd proven it by disregarding her needs. She had wanted reassurance but he failed to give it... at the most crucial time in their married life. His obliviousness had cost them and there was no going back. Would it have made a difference if he had known... in the short term perhaps but in the long term, he couldn't be sure.

Still, she had made it easy for him to walk away... to have his precious career... She had dared to make the hard decisions...

_The idiot... _

Chiaki keeled over and fell on the floor. Tears trickled down his hot cheeks as he stared numbly at the carpet below.

_I didn't know... You should have told me..._


	4. Chapter 4

**December 2008**

Nodame was a picture of abject misery as she watched Chiaki spread out his gabardine coat at the end of the bed and systematically proceeded to fill up a large suitcase.

"Do you really have to go?" She was alternating between a scowl and a pout.

"I'll only be gone for three months... it's an opportunity I can't afford to pass up. Besides they're expecting me. I can't pull out at the last minute for no good reason."

"I know... I just... er... we haven't been married long and then you up and leave."

"It's only until you graduate. You can visit me on weekends you know..."

"Nodame... er... hates those stupid trains and there's no one to cook for me..."

Chiaki was mystified by this sudden change of heart. "I've made enough frozen meals to last you several months."

"But I've been very hungry lately. I don't think they're enough..."

"Don't be ridiculous... even you couldn't eat that much."

"I could. And who is going to keep me company while I'm practising?"

"You don't need me to keep you company 24/7... what's the matter... it's not the first time I'm going away. You're acting like I'm leaving forever."

"I... er... I'm just going through a difficult time right now..."

"What's wrong?" Chiaki looked at Nodame with genuine concern. She was clearly in agony over something.

"I... er..." She faltered. "Never mind... just go... Don't worry, I'll manage somehow. I'll tell you when you get back."

Chiaki was exasperated. His wife of two months was behaving strangely... even more than usual. She had known about the appointment a month ago and had been extremely supportive but in the past week, she had been irritable and sullen almost, skulking around shooting dark looks in his direction. Ideally he would've taken her with him except that she was in the final stages of her studies and was due to graduate in the next few months.

"Are you sure? Is it your studies?"

"No... nothing like that. Anyway, Nodame will be have good news for you when you come home."

"I hope so... you've worked particularly hard these past few months."

"I didn't mean... yeah... Can you come back for Nodame's graduation?"

"Sure... of course... why not?"

"You have to come back... "

"I will..."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise..."

Nodame looked relieved and seemed sufficiently reassured. "Nodame is satisfied but you must ring me every night to let me know that you're alive."

"Alive? I'm going to conduct an orchestra, not go into combat in the middle of Afghanistan, woman."

"Just ring, okay?"

Chiaki nodded and privately despaired... it was going to be a very long three months...

* * *

**March 2009**

"How are you feeling, Mrs Chiaki?"

"Okay... morning sickness is not too bad now. I can't seem to stop eating though."

"Good, good... have you booked in to have your ultrasound?"

"Not yet... I am waiting for my husband to get back from England."

"You should book in now, there is a very high demand for such services."

"I... I don't know..."

"What's wrong?"

"He doesn't know..."

"You don't want this baby..."

"Oh, no... it's not that at all... I want this baby very much but I don't know if he is ready..."

"You need to tell him..."

_I don't know if I'm going to like what I hear..._

* * *

He would never hear the end of it. She would nag him to death and remind him for the rest of their married life how he broke his promise to her and missed her graduation despite swearing solemnly to be there.

He punched 1 on the speed dial with dread. _Better get this over and done with._

At least he was over two hundred miles away for now, safe from any threat of bodily harm.

"Nodame... it's me... "

"Husband! I'm so glad you rang. I've been practising my graduation piece."

"Nodame... listen... That's what I'm ringing about. The graduation.... I... er..."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not going to make it. I've been invited to an important function and my agent says I can't really turn it down. A whole bunch of VIPs including members of the royal family will be there. It's a great honour... Look, I'll make it up to you when I get back next month." Realizing after a while that he wasn't getting a response, he raised his voice. "Nodame? You there?"

On the other side of the line, Nodame had allowed the phone to slip off her hand... and fall to the ground.

Her greatest fear had now become a reality.

* * *

At first he thought it was just a silly tantrum... her deployment of a classic: the silent treatment... a petty demonstration of wifely displeasure. Rationalizing in that manner, nonetheless, did little to soothe his troubled mind. Calling and leaving messages in between rehearsal sessions without getting any response angry or otherwise only served to heighten his alarm. He had braced himself for some kind of a reaction but this wall of silence was something more foreboding. It struck a pang of fear into his soul. She was deliberately giving him the cold shoulder and that was more worrying than her raging bull impersonation. Clearly he had underestimated the importance of the graduation in the overall scheme of things. Meanwhile, the so-called reception which had been the catalyst to the entire debacle had left a dull taste in his mouth. The disquiet he felt left no room for enjoying the trivial. He was listless... with not a moment's peace wondering constantly what crazy misadventure the _hentai_ had tumbled into.

He was seriously considering flying out the next morning when his agent put a stop to his plans.

"You can't just drop everything and leave. You will never work in this industry again if you do this and everything you worked so hard to achieve will just go poof..."

"She's my wife, Karl... if something's happened to her and I'm not there..."

"It's madness, Shinichi... you can't do this... you have a contract to fulfill and a concert to perform." _Wonder what he sees in her... honestly... She's going to wreck his career..._

"I just want to be sure that she's alright."

"Call her friends... the Conservatoire..."

"I have... no one has seen her for several days... I need to know."

Karl could see that Chiaki was out of his mind with worry and there was no stopping him. "Alright, I tell you what I will go back there and make sure everything's fine."

"You will?"

"Absolutely... Now you just go and do your job. That's an order."

"Thanks Karl... you don't know what this means to me..."

_She'll be the death of him..._

* * *

"She's not here, Shinichi... it seems like she's no longer in Paris. The lady next door thought she saw her drag couple of large suitcases out the door two days ago and yelled out something to the cab driver about going to the international airport."

"International airport? Where could she be going? Had she been thinking about coming here?"

"I don't think so... she left you a letter."

"A letter?"

"Uh huh.. a letter in the bedroom addressed to you."

"Open it..."

"Sure?"

"Just open it, Karl... and read it to me..."

"She says that she's going back to Japan now that she's graduated and will file for a divorce as soon as she can. She says, I quote, 'I can't live like this for the rest of my life not knowing where things stand between us. It's too painful', unquote."

_Returning to Japan? Divorce? Over a graduation ceremony? Has she gone stark, raving mad? What could she be thinking..._

_Is she leaving me? Just like that? After years of following me around..._

_

* * *

  
_

**April 2009**

"You're leaving him? But why? You seemed so happy..."

"I was... we were... but I'm thinking about the future. I need to think about the future..." _It's not just about me now... I couldn't bear it if he left...  
_

"What do you mean?"

"He needs to be free... to fulfill his ambitions. With me around, it's just going to hold him back. This is a crucial time for him. He deserves to find success unhampered. He doesn't need me anyway when he has his music to keep him company."

"Of course, he does. Where would he be today if it weren't for you?"

"All I did was give him a kick out the door. The talent is all his own."

"Why are you giving up so easily? I thought you loved him."

"I do... which is why I'm doing this. I'm doing this for him." _For us_.

"What about you? What about what you want?"

"I want this baby... to be happy..."

"Without a father?"

"This way, he won't know any better."

"He doesn't know, does he? About the baby, that is..."

"No... he doesn't and it's better this way."

"Are you sure about this Nodame... all this high-minded thinking can only lead to heartache."

"Oh, my heart is in a million pieces, Milch... But it's the best way."

"He won't appreciate it."

"Probably not... but it doesn't matter... My son will and that's the most important thing. Milch, what's wrong? Are you crying?"

"No... no... just a bit of dirt in my eye... You seem sure that the baby's a boy."

"I know it and he's going to be the best violinist in the world. Are you sure you're alright, Milch? Your eyes have gone all red."

"It's just that... my Nodame is now all grown up..." sentimentalized the German conductor.

* * *

"She's not worth it, Chiaki..."

"I should have been here... she said she was going through a difficult time and I didn't listen..."

"Stop blaming yourself. She just got a little... impatient and is trying to prove a point."

"What point?" Chiaki was agitated.

"Exactly... just a petty flounce. Don't worry about her. She'll be back..." _Probably in one of her moods._

"What if she doesn't come back?"

_We can only hope._ "Well, at least you know where things stand. Look, Chiaki... your career is about to take off and you need to focus right now... Women are a dime a dozen but a contract with the LSO is one in a million."

_A dime a dozen? One in a million? In a world of over six and half billion people, there can't be anyone else quite like Nodame.  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chopin International Competition -- August 2012**

_After all this time... he is still in love with her... and no wonder... the second movement was unbelievable. The way she drew the audience in and held them captive the entire time... unreal. I have never seen him so enraptured by anything. She is good... very good... a complete original. __I had no idea she was this good.__ I was wrong about her at least in that regard..._

_How was I to know... she was odd... so erratic... so childish... Wasn't the best match for Chiaki. No one could have known about the potential that was hidden away. Perhaps he did... perhaps that is what he could see where the rest of us had failed to. Wonder how things would have turned out if they had stayed together. Another Jacqueline du Pré and Daniel Barenboim perhaps..._

* * *

"You should go and speak to her, Shinichi... Congratulate her or something. It's the biggest day of her life. A golden opportunity wouldn't you say?"

"No, mother... I can't... we've both moved on with our lives. It'll be awkward."

"Have you really... moved on?" _So what are you doing here? _

"She's the one that left remember, not me..."

"I remember. Did you ever find out why?"

"She said so in her letter... all because of my missing her graduation... she didn't know where she stood with me. Something banal like that."

"And you believed her... just like that?"

"What else could it be... what other explanation could there be? Everything was alright before that."

"You never tried to find out what it was even though you thought her reason was banal?" His mother was aghast.

"I... I... was busy!" Shinichi was now on the defensive. _I was angry... confused...  
_

"Too busy to find out why the woman you loved... left you? Too busy to try and get her back? Did I teach you nothing?" Seiko _san_ was livid. Shinichi had not seen his mother this angry since he was thirteen.

"I..."

"Or may be you didn't love her that much... or maybe you were glad that she left... relieved that you no longer had to look after her..."

"Mother! It wasn't like that... I did try to see her in Japan. Her parents literally threw me out of the house."

"And you gave up... just like that. You're useless... you're no better than that father of yours."

"Mother! How can you..."

"I don't feel like talking to you right now... I'm going back to my hotel room."

* * *

_After all this time... mother still takes her side... Sheesh... women... Isn't there a single normal one left on this earth?_

_It was she who left me... in a hurry. She couldn't wait... No guts to tell me herself... Just a "Dear John" letter. Everything I had done for her meant nothing to her..._

_Do they think I have no pride?  
_

_It was the worst day of my life... I relive it everyday... wondering what it is I did... wondering if it was some sick joke and that she'd walk back into my life as if nothing happened._

_And mother thinks that I don't love her..._

_

* * *

_

"Nodame... my beloved. That was tremendous_... _I wept and everyone around me was in tears at the end."

"I'm so glad... Milch... so glad that you're here. I feel like crying myself... I've never felt more lonely in all my life."

"Oh my dear..."

"To finally achieve success and recognition... but there's no one to share it with. It seems pointless."

"You have your son..."

"I suppose. " Nodame sighed. "It's probably because I'm exhausted that I'm feeling like this. I've worked so hard the past few weeks and I miss Aoshi. Wish I didn't have leave him in Japan. But a three year old stuck in practice rooms day and night can be trying even if he is as well-behaved as Aoshi."

"Have you seen that person..."

"No." Nodame gave another sigh. "I was hoping... tonight... I don't know... that he would show up..."

"I'm sorry... Nodame..."

"So am I."


	6. Chapter 6

Classical Life -- September 2034

_Aoshi Noda has been hailed by critics and audiences as one of the most exciting talents to emerge in recent days. Last night he proved his mettle when he performed a series of violin concertoes with the London Philharmonic. Only 25, he has already played to sell out crowds in many of the world's major cities and has a repetoire that includes Bach, Elgar and Paginini._

_He came to the attention of British talent scout and agent Eric North some twelve years ago who told this reporter that it obvious from the first that the boy had "buckloads of raw talent". North noted that "Even at thirteen Aoshi was completely lost in his playing and played every note with the intensity and urgency of a seasoned campaigner."_

_As the only son of Megumi Noda, the 2012 winner of the Chopin International Piano Competition, this young handsome virtuoso has given credence to the notion that musical ability runs in families._

_This rising star of classical muscian modestly gives credit for his success to his mother. "I owe her everything. Without her I could never have come this far. As a single parent, she sacrificed so much, even her own career and personal happiness so that I can be here today."_

_Noda has been romantically linked with Julia Ma, the Chinese cellist._

* * *

_She really didn't need me after all... to build her dynasty._

_Her musical dynasty... her legacy. _

_Bravo Nodame. Perhaps you were right to do what you did... perhaps I would have gotten in the way. But you needn't have done it alone... we could have found a way... given the chance_

"A penny for your thoughts, Chiaki." A voice broke into his reverie.

"Oh, sorry... Karl, it's you... what were you saying? I was lost in my thoughts."

"That's obvious. Ah, I see that you're looking at the latest issue of _Classical Life_. That boy is quite the sensation at the moment, making waves and headlines. Can't believe that he's that woman's son. Doesn't look much like her."

"Good to see young talent coming through the ranks."

"Young talent?! People are saying that he's the best thing since Nigel Connelly. Some think he's better." Karl paused and then said thoughtfully. "You know, I never thought she had it in her... To bring up a kid on her own. She was a lot stronger than I thought. I don't think I really understood her. She was such a strange creature."

"She was that. I don't think many people really understood her... including me... I made a lot of mistakes where she was concerned and in the end she was proved right."

_Now, he's not making sense._ "She left you, Shinichi... Don't blame yourself... Anyway, it seems like she found someone else for a while."

_There was never anyone else. Not for her, not for me._ "No... she never left me really... arrrrrrgh..."

"What is it? That didn't sound good."

"It's these damned headaches... they keep coming back." Shinichi was digging into his temples with desperate vigour.

"You need to see the doctor... hasn't Hiromi been nagging you to see the doctor?"

"I hate doctors..."

"Well, it's that or I call your mother..."


	7. Chapter 7

**October 2008**

Two bodies were locked in a rapturous embrace under the many layers that secured their need for intimacy. Youthful passion was momentarily spent and its blissful players were basking in its afterglow in a state of complete contentment.

A mop of light brown hair emerged from under the bedclothes and spoke. "Are you happy... _senpai_..."

"I suppose..." Her partner was not comfortable, at the best of times, with introspection. However, at that moment all felt right with the world. "Shouldn't you stop calling me _senpai_ now that..."

"Sorry... Nodam will try to remember that you are now 'husband'."

"What about you, Nodame... are you... happy?" Shinichi asked uncertainly.

"Nodame is Queen of the World."

"Really?" Her husband asked both puzzled and amused.

"Nodame is now the wife of Shinichi. Officially two weeks three days. Why wouldn't she be Queen of the World?"

Shinichi smiled and moved his wife of two weeks three days closer to him and fondled her hair. _I gather that means 'yes'_.

"Does this mean that I'm King of the World?" He inquired.

"Of course, the Queen cannot make music or babies alone."

"Babies?"

"Yeah... lots of them... little Shinichis and Megumis..." She applauded delightedly.

"We can think about that later when you've finished with your studies. To bring children into the world right now... would be..." Shinichi hesitated searching for the right words.

"Would be... what?"

"Would be _impetuous_..."

"You don't want children?" Nodame gave her husband a look of incredulity.

"I didn't say that... All I'm saying is that I don't want them now... while we're both still trying to establish ourselves professionally."

Nodame had fallen eerily silent and he felt a pang of guilt as he glanced at her disappointed pout.

"Nodame... I didn't know that having children meant that much to you."

"I just thought... you had accepted me... completely"

"I did... I do... but this has nothing to do with that. I just don't think its convenient... the timing isn't right."

"When will the timing be right?" Nodame asked with more than a note of irony.

"I don't know... in a few years... perhaps..."

"In a few years! I'll be an old woman then."

"You'll be about thirty... hardly an old woman... I thought you wanted a career... don't you want a career first..."

"Well, yes... maybe... but... to have your children, Shinichi... that would be better than any career. Imagine, the two of us creating a dynasty of musicians..."

"Dynasty of musicians?" _Good lord, what is she on about?_ "How many children are you thinking about having?" The young husband was taken aback.

"As many as possible... eight, nine... ten maybe... We could have our own orchestra. The Chiaki Family Players." Nodame was warming to her subject.

"Don't be ridiculous... ten children!"

"Don't worry, husband... with our talent combined, it's pretty much guaranteed that they'll all be geniuses anyway."

"Stop daydreaming... it's easier said than done... Raising one child is hard enough... ten is going to be virtually impossible!" Chiaki protested envisaging a zoo of little Nodames littering the place while he picked up after them. "Anyway, what about us... are we going to have any time together if we have that many children?"

"Oh is that what you worried about?" Nodame appeared relieved and winked mischievously. "Nodame is always available to husband on demand. Anytime, anywhere." She added as she moved seductively towards his lips and lightly touched them. "Like right now..."

"I'm not worried..." He murmured breathlessly before succumbing to charms of the woman who was ready to begin building a dynasty with him.

_I'm sure he'll change his mind... When it happens... He'll be a great father... I just know it..._

_

* * *

_**November 2008**

She was eavesdropping... she didn't mean to... but she had stumbled onto a heated discussion that would normally have been held elsewhere. Instinctively, she knew that she was not meant to be a part of this conversation and wisely stopped herself from turning the door knob.

"It's a great opportunity, Chiaki... it'll be crazy to throw it away."

"I know... but I can't leave her here for three months by herself..."

"Something like doesn't come all the time... you have to take it. I'm sure Nodame will understand."

"But she'll be graduating in a few months, I need to be here for her."

"Look, you need to think about your career Chiaki. Someone needs to. That girl is too dependent on you and she's going to hold you back."

"I'm married to her, for crying out loud, Karl... what do you want me to do... just leave her behind whenever there's a job offer in the wind? It's not just about me now... I have someone else to consider as well."

"It's only for three months and it could lead to other things. You never know. Three months with the LSO. Think about it okay."

"Alright, alright... let me think about it. I'll talk to Nodame about when she gets back from school."

"Don't wait too long... Chiaki... You know the proverb, 'Make hay while the sun shines'."

* * *

She waited for him to broach the subject all evening but they were both strangely quiet. The atmosphere was pregnant with apprehension but finally when she couldn't handle it anymore, she broke the silence.

"So why was Karl here today? Don't you usually go to his office?"

"Yeah... well, something important came up..."

"Oh yeah... something that Nodame needs to know about?"

"Well, I've been offered a three month contract with the London Symphony Orchestra."

"That's fantastic... so why so glum..." Nodame asked with more enthusiasm than she felt. She knew why. Frankly she hated the perception (apparent or real) that it was she who was holding him back.

"You'll be completing your final exams in the next few months... I don't feel right leaving you here all by yourself."

Nodame had a flair for the theatrical and on this occasion she pulled out all the stops. Instinctively she flew into a rage and waved her finger accusingly.

"Mukiyaaaaaa... What do you think I am? Don't you think Nodame can manage without you? Don't hide behind Nodame's skirt if you're too chicken to be a man and follow your dreams." She was a woman on a mission and her improvisational skills were at their peak.

Chiaki was astounded. "You want me to go?" He asked disbelievingly.

Nodame struck her best school marm pose. "I don't want you to have any regrets, that's all. And blame me in forty years that I held you back."

"Are you sure?" Chiaki was still bewildered

"Are you... that's more the point... What do _you_ want to do?"

"Well, I would like to go if you're agreeable. Karl said that one of their board members heard me conduct the Roux-Marlet last month and was quite impressed. He thinks it could lead to other things in the future. But if you don't want me to go, it's fine with me."

"Of course I'll miss you, husband, but three months will fly by quickly enough and once I graduate, I can join you in England." Nodame had switched to her "good wife" mode.

"You seem very reasonable and rational about it all. You're not trying to get rid of me for some reason, are you?" He eyed her suspiciously.

"Not a chance... after finally becoming senpai's official wife. Anyway, Nodame is always reasonable and rational."

"Whatever..." Chiaki remarked skeptically. "Are you sure about this?" He looked at her uncertainly. "Just the other day you were talking about having children and well, I thought..."

"Children can wait." She brushed him off. "Just go... before Nodame becomes unreasonable and irrational." Her tone of voice suggested that for her, at least, the subject had come to an end. She turned to face the piano and strode briskly towards it. "Enough talking. Now Nodame wants to practice." It was the perfect dodge... the perfect way to hide the tears.

_Am I going to lose him... Maybe not now, or in three months but one day... But I don't want to be the one who holds him back. _

_Nodame only wants to be the perfect wife. Yes... the perfect wife... to support Shinichi... to help him become the greatest conductor in the world._

Sipping a glass of red, her husband was watching her out of the corner of his eye. Apart from the initial outburst, she was unusually composed and seemed to be in command of her faculties. She was displaying a rare streak of level-headedness.

_She's handling this rather well... too well... Maybe I was wrong about her... maybe she doesn't need me as much as I thought..._

_I should be relieved but that was too easy... too easy for my liking.  
_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Epilogue_**

_October 2036_

_My dear Nodame_

_By the time you get this, you will have heard that I have gone. There is so much I need to say but as you know better than anyone, I will say it all poorly._

_The years we spent together were some of the best of my life. In these last days while spend my many waking moments wondering how I let you slip away, I can only recall the good times that we shared. These have become so precious to me. What haunts me and has haunted me all these years is the thought that I should have tried harder... to get you back... to fight for... us. Our history would have been a different story. The truth is, I was weak... and perhaps my mother was right all along... that I did not have the courage to love you as you deserved to be loved._

_Nevertheless, I've had a good life in so far as anyone can claim to do so. I've been fortunate to be able to attain success in the field that I loved. Hiromi has been a good wife and a constant companion... a stark contrast to the maddening hentai that turned my world upside down. _

_As for Aoshi, he has grown into a fine young man. You should be proud of how he has turned out. Whatever else you have achieved, he is your true legacy._

_You won't have known this, but about fifteen years ago, I met him. He played superbly even then. I chose not to tell him even when I realized the relationship because he seemed so content. On that occasion it became clear to me why you did what you did and believed perhaps it was for the best. There are no recriminations only regrets. Perhaps Aoshi will not make the same mistakes as his parents and will find some way to forgive his father for not being there._

_It is not my intention to insult either you or him but it is my heartfelt wish to leave something to him. Of course it will not make up for the lost years but at least my son will know that his father knew about him and never stopped caring for his mother._

_I don't know how much time I have left and there are times, when the pain is particularly unbearable, there's nothing more I want than to hear you play again. Anything. Just one more time._

_Love,_

_Shinichi_

_

* * *

_

Author's Notes:

_Thank you for reading and it is on this note that I end the story. At this point in time I have no real intention to add to it although I may revise it later on if the need should arise__.  
_

_I do like happy endings in general but on this occasion I was keen to explore the "what ifs" regarding Chiaki and Nodame's relationship, that is... what if they make a few unexpected or unfavourable turns along the way, would these decisions be irrevocable. I daresay the premise is controversial but I wanted to challenge myself, not go over old ground. It has not been an easy story to write, taking our favourite couple on this torturous journey. I've tried to retain as much of the comedic nature of the original as much as I can but in the end, it is meant to be bittersweet.  
_

_Just to reassure anyone who has been wondering... I haven't forgotten about_ A Working Honeymoon_ and have made a feeble attempt at the next chapter. But this one was in my head and was begging to be written. Thank you for your patience._


End file.
